[TRIGGER WARNING: Rape]
Look, it’s really fucking hard to be a fat person who happens to be romantically interested in other people, particularly when those other people are cis het dudes.
It’s hard because when you grow up fat, you grow up believing that you’re not ever going to be attractive…
Dudette,
I only realized two years ago that I could be considered pretty, I’m currently 26. I had family members who were pedophiles and neighbors that got away with shit when I was little and I felt that the chubbier and non-girly-er I got, the more they left me alone. When I said something to my mother, I got told I was making it up and it screwed me up for a long time. I honestly felt I was hideous and my mind had poisoned itself to the point where when I looked in the mirror I couldn’t even describe how horrible I thought I looked. I’m not that bad but I used to see my self as the Swamp Thing or something. The worst part is that I expected that I should look that bad because if you’re fat you’re obviously hideous. That’s what everyone and everything seems to tell all the female children, teenagers and adults who live in this age.
There are people out there who don’t think that the current definition of “attractive” is the right one and they have shown interest; unfortunately, I am a frigid, sexless thing at this point. I find either gender to be attractive or unattractive but it never goes beyond a general surface scan. There are probably issues there but I’m focusing on bringing myself out of poverty by going to school and I’m cashing in on my ability to focus solely on the academic.
I do understand what you’re saying though. I hated myself and I always wondered if there was any hope of me having a partnership with another human being because there was absolutely nothing about me that any individual could find attractive. That is completely false and that voiceis incredibly seductive to minds, especially young minds, and it usually ends in self-hatred, loneliness and/or self-destruction.
It will likely never go away completely. I find that re-utilizing it can be helpful to spurn you on towards victory or accomplishments but, in order for it to work for you long term, you need to ditch the people who judge you for how you look. People like that are asshats and I know I was lucky enough to occasionally find the good types of friends throughout my life that broke up the monotony of loneliness. If someone you like is worried about what their peers think about them dating you, fuck them, you’re a fantastic person and there are great people out there who will recognize your awesomeness immediately.
Go find those people and be you, like you, and persist.
Things that Have Happened to Me — PO’ed
I’m not really sure how my the front and back cover didn’t give it away that this wasn’t some cute game about frogs (I’m not even sure how my sister jumped to that conclusion, or why I thought something called “poe-ed” would be fun), but we ended up buying the game, bringing it home and playing it for well over an hour in an attempt to find out if it ever stopped being about walking butts. It didn’t (that we know of).
Oh…oh god, I just found this! Did I really say that it was about frogs? I totally remember that game though. That could have easily been the end of my foray in the gaming world if our father hadn’t also bought Tomb Raider.
I think I might know…
multishipping on paypal isn’t working so i can’t print out my shipping labels for my orders (unless i do it separately which would take a really long time) :’(
looked it up on google and paypal and no one seems to know the answer
if anyone has any suggestions, help would be greatly appreciated!
thanks!
Sometimes multishipping doesn’t work unless you’re using Internet Explorer. ‘Tis lame.
[Flash 10 is required to watch video]
What happens when a tree branch falls onto a powerline?
Answer: Dramatic Annihilation
Only 17 seconds long - stick to the end.
That’s pretty rad I tell you what.
The rainbow of crazy flames made me giggle.
“My Hero”
My entry for the first Anthology Project book.
I’d suggest picking both up. There are some incredibly entries in there by some amazing artists.
This made my day. Fantastic! <3
happy pi day!
thanks for watching my livestream! :)
It was fun watching the livestream; you’re so quick!
Sometimes, when I’m really annoyed with life—
— I go online and talk shit about Final Fantasy VII. I incite at least 10 people and then I run away/ignore the thread. Once the flaming rage has died down, I go back and read the various arguments and shamelessly giggle. Then I wax nostalgic about Final Fantasy IX and play it again. Or another JRPG that made up my childhood.
I don’t just do it because I’m annoyed, I do it because Final Fantasy VII is very low on my scale of awesome Final Fantasy games. I know for a fact that it doesn’t deserve to be anywhere near where Final Fantasy VI and IV rank, and it’s definitely below IX in my books. People tell me how they actually cried when Aeris (or Aerith, whatever) died; I only raged because she had all my materia.
And every damn fanboy that pipes in on a discussion on “What’s wrong with Japanese game design” (a popular topic since GDC was this past week) has to mention that the best course of action for Squeenix would be to remake FFVII. Because that’s totally what needs to happen. The path towards progress in Japanese game design is for every studio to go back and remake a game that was relevant 15 years ago.
I think Squeenix should lock Testuya Nomura in a closet with Kingdom Hearts shit for him to work on while they bring in some new people to dabble in Final Fantasy design. Because that FFXIII and XIII-2 shit was not gravy. Either that or ask Sakaguchi to come back; Lost Odyssey was pretty awesome. The final choice would be to let the series die and give another name to the pretty-boy, blemishless-faced android j-pop synched games that seem to ooze out of the studio nowadays.
Sorry for the nerd rage. /end
